Ode to Mama

This post has been on my mind before I even started blogging. In fact, this post is the very inspiration behind my desire to write at all. As a new mother myself, I will admit to you the lack of profound respect I have had for not only my mother, but for any mother out there, until I myself was thrown into the role. I decided to look up the term 'mother' in the dictionary the other day and this is what I came up with.
Mother: "A mother is a woman who has raised a child, given birth to a child, and/or supplied the ovum that united with a sperm which grew into a child."
As a mother myself, this lackluster definition was borderline offensive to me. I refuse to be simply dubbed a "baby-growing factory" or "egg supplier". Giving birth is simply the first, and dare I say most minimal step in the journey that is motherhood.
To illustrate this, let me tell you about my mom. Since she is my mom, perhaps I am a bit biased. But I refuse to believe that the halo I have painted around her head is a figment of my imagination. My mom had her first baby at 22... 22!! I think puberty finally hit me at 22! I know I was nowhere near ready to take on the responsibilities of motherhood at 22. But my mom has always been described by her family and friends as "mature beyond her years." Being the eldest of four kids, she was placed in a leadership role at a young age as most firstborn children are. Family has always been her number one priority. She lost her dad shortly after her second child, my older brother, was born. Her dad was her hero...her best friend. When she talks about him, you can feel the love and respect and closeness she felt for him and with him. I think that loss really fueled her determination to keep all of us close and to raise us with strong family values. Not that she wouldn't have otherwise. I know she deeply regrets that we never got to know him. But sometimes losing someone so close can cause us to really appreciate what we have. And neither I, nor my brothers or sisters as far as I know, have ever felt a lack of love or appreciation from our mother. (I'm not leaving my father out on purpose...his tribute post will not be far behind this one). My mother managed to distribute her love evenly among six kids. I never felt any favoritism was showed to any one of us. We each went through our various stages of rebellion as all kids do. And we each brought with us a different challenge that she had to overcome. But even through the most difficult of times, she loved us unconditionally. When it came to punishment, we were all mostly scared of mom :) She would make us bend over and grab our ankles during spankings. At the time, I thought this was such cruel torture. She later explained that when she would spank us, we would often arch her backs, causing her to accidently hit our back or legs. Having us grab our ankles ensured that she would only be hitting our butts. She tried to protect us through everything, even when she had to punish us. I appreciate so much the way she disciplined us. Some would turn their nose up at this and chastise my mom for daring to lay a hand on her children. This is a personal choice. As a child who was raised with spankings, I never once felt abused or frightened. Yes, being spanked sucked. It was never fun and I certainly never looked forward to it. But it was necessary. Mom never punished us out of anger and always made sure we understood why it needed done. And afterward, she would wipe our tears and tell us how much she loved us. I couldn't imagine being raised any other way and fully intend on raising our kids in the same manner. My relationship with my mom didn't reach the level it is today til I went away to college. I think my brothers and sisters would all say the same. Its easy to take that kind of love and protection for granted when it is always within reach. But when I was out on my own and something bad would happen, the one person I wanted to talk to was my mom. I hated the fact that I couldn't just drive to her house and seek out the comfort only she could give. Needless to say, I didn't stay away long. As much as I wanted to branch out and explore new worlds outside of the one I grew up in, I wasn't...and still am not...ready to give up the luxury of my mother being close by. I am still learning from her as I begin my own journey mothering Ivey. My mom is my hero. She is the woman, wife, and mother I hope to be. She is humble, wise, selfless, and patient...and I could not imagine life without her.
All this to say I appreciate my mom now more than ever. And not just her... all the mothers out there. My sisters, sister-in-laws, mother-in-law, aunts, grandmothers, cousins, and friends...even those of you who are not quite there yet, but who long to be. I appreciate you. Regardless of parenting style you are ALL doing such a wonderful job! And I know that someday, you will have children who look up to you and are grateful for you the way I look up to my mom. So keep it up:) It may take a few years. But eventually we will become our children's best friends!!

*I love you, mommy.